The Micro-Trend Speedrun: A Fad That Lives and Dies in a Week →
Named on Monday, explained by Thursday, replaced by Sunday: a day-by-day sprint through the fastest fads on the feed.
Trending today. Forgotten tomorrow. Roasted forever.
Every fad thinks it will live forever. None of them do. We deliver eulogies for dying trends, field guides to apology videos, regret-ranked viral challenges, and hot takes about fads nobody asked for. Satire only, we punch at phenomena, never at people.
Read the eulogy →Haul Culture: The Algorithm Made Me Buy It (Allegedly) →
The mountain shot, the justification monologue, and the three very different purchases hiding inside every haul.
De-Influencing Is Still Influencing: A Roast of the Anti-Haul →
The movement that told everyone to stop buying things, in a video, with excellent lighting, swaps and all.
NPC Streaming: The Human Jukebox Era →
A coin slot, a catchphrase menu, and the summer a livestream performer became the world's most honest jukebox.
The Stanley Craze: A Reusable Cup, Bought Twelve Times →
The discontinued tumbler that came back as a collectible, plus the collection maths nobody prints on the receipt.
- 48-hour trend lifespan
- Trends roasted, people spared
- Satire only
Fresh roasts
Every Trend Dies in 48 Hours: A Eulogy →
We gather today to mourn the fads. Born viral, dead by Thursday, survived by a group chat that moved on.
Influencer Apologies: A Field Guide →
Identify the species in the wild: the notes-app screenshot, the tearless weep, and the "I'm taking accountability" migratory pattern.
Viral Challenges Ranked by Regret →
A completely rigorous taxonomy of internet dares, scored from "mild embarrassment" to "call your insurance agent."
The Five Stages of a Trending Hashtag →
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, the emotional lifecycle of a topic you'll forget by Friday.
Hot Takes Nobody Asked For (About Fads) →
Absurd opinions on fad categories, delivered with the confidence of a man who once bought a novelty necktie on purpose.
The Five Stages of a Fad Diet →
The villain-food rotation, the five reusable archetypes of every fad diet, and the quiet funeral nobody livestreams.
The AI Gadget Lifecycle: From Keynote to Junk Drawer →
Keynote mystique, review embargo, refund reckoning, pivot-or-perish, junk drawer: the five stages every AI gadget relives.
Unboxing videos: we now watch boxes open, professionally →
Anticipation psychology, ASMR tape sounds, and a field guide to watching boxes open without buying the box.
Unboxing videos: we now watch boxes open, professionally →
The Monday screenshot, the Wednesday saturation, the Friday funeral, plus a triage for which chat trends deserve your one reaction.
Everyone Has a Podcast Now: A Roast of the Three-Microphone Era →
Millions indexed, a fraction alive, and a median lifespan of eight days: the podcast flood roasted with its own census, plus the survival-data test for anyone about to add a neon sign.
AI Slop Floods the Feed: A Field Guide to the Beige Internet →
The dictionary crowned it Word of the Year for a reason: the tells table for spotting slop mid-scroll and the three-second triage that charges for your attention.
Everyone Is a Coach Now: A Roast of the Coach for Everything →
122,974 counted coaches, $5.34 billion, and millions more the census gave up on: the niche taxonomy, the coaches coaching coaches, and the test that tells a coach from a costume.
Group Gift Fund Chaos: The Pot, the Chase, and the Organiser Who Fronts Everything →
Six stages from cheerful chip-in to third reminder text, the survey numbers behind the front, and the app industry now selling the organiser's job back to the group.
Cold Plunge Culture: Paying Good Money to Be Cold on Purpose →
A satirical reception check on cold plunge culture: a US$338M market, a 250 percent dopamine claim traced to a one-hour 2000 study, and benefits that…
Everyone Is a DJ Now: A Roast of the Bedroom-to-Boiler-Room Pipeline →
A satirical taxonomy of the bedroom-to-Boiler-Room DJ pipeline: controller, story post, filmed set, and the working DJs whose fees get squeezed.
Digital Detox Influencers: Logging Off, Loudly, With a Ring Light →
A satirical catalogue of the loud log-off genre: farewell post, countdown, return photo-dump, and the detox industry selling silence back by…
AI Companions: Your New Best Friend Has a Pricing Tier →
45 million users, two hours a day, about a dollar per user per year, and memory itself behind the paywall: the friendship receipt, itemised.
Running Clubs Are the New Dating Apps: A Roast →
Membership up 59 percent, one in five runners dating a clubmate, and colour-coded availability signals: the survey results, read out loud at the 6 a.m. start line.
Beige Interiors and Sad Beige Everything: A Roast →
The same apartment in every city, colour-matched childhoods, and a 2026 exit taken one confident colour at a time: one swatch, every category, roasted.
Quiet Luxury: A Roast of Stealth Wealth Dressing Like a Library →
The clothes whisper, the prices do not: a $1,390 hoodie, a $450 to $800 plain cap, and the explainer industry built around an invisible look.
Main Character Energy: A Roast of Treating Errands Like a Film Set →
Every errand a scene, every queue a supporting cast: the casting department, the retakes, and the two-take test for leads who share a pavement.
Vision Board Culture: A Roast of Manifesting With Glue Sticks →
The glue stick is innocent; the claim stapled to it is not: the audit that separates what a board demonstrably does from what the poster promises.
Matcha Everything: The Green Takeover Gets Roasted →
A $4.3 billion industry, searches up nearly 800 percent, matcha deodorant and donuts, while the real leaf is rationed and auction prices climb.
Pickleball Is Not a Personality: A Roast →
24.3 million players, five years as the fastest growing sport, converted tennis courts, and a growing noise lawsuit trail, read out loud.